How training can improve your dating…(not what you think)

When people come to me for training, they come in with all sorts of different expectations.  Some are afraid that I’m going to yell at them.

I don’t.

Some are afraid that I’m going to ask them to do things they aren’t ready for.

I don’t.

Some of the single guys I train think that by improving their physique, women are going to throw themselves at them.

Sorry but they don’t.

Yes having a lean, toned, muscular physique can get you more looks, but nobody wants to get caught staring.  I remember about a year or two ago, I took my daughters to a princess tea party event that was coordinated by Tony who I trained to win Mr. Gay USA 2022.  At this event as I was leaving, I found myself face to face with two of the women that were there and had an interaction that became a core memory.

It went like this…

“Oh great, it figures that you’d be the one I was parked next to”

I was caught off guard and confused so I said “huh?”

“My friend told me you caught us talking and making a big deal about your pecs, arms and abs”

Me now realizing what was happening “Actually this is the first I heard of it…but thank you.  I work hard and it’s always nice when it gets recognized.”

Now that the elephant in the room was actually acknowledged she laughed and said “well congrats on your physique” and her friend yelled out the car window “yeah good job on being a dad without the dad bod”

Now my kids were there, their kids were there, I’m married, they’re married and even if all that weren’t in place I doubt it would have gone any different.  The only reason they even said anything was because they thought I caught them red handed.  I guess they under estimated how oblivious I can be.

When guys come to me to improve their dating life by improving their physiques, I tell them learn to cook.  That can not only help with your dating life, but can improve your physique as well.

Now can improving your physique make you look more attractive.  According to the fitness indicator hypothesis study yes.

Can having a lean, toned, muscular physique improve your dating life?  Absolutely, but maybe not the way you think it can.

A couple years ago, there was an article promoting the dad bod as the new thing women are into.

First, if the “dad bod” was really the thing that was considered most attractive, then they wouldn’t put lean, toned muscular physiques on the cover of romance novels. They put what they think will sell copies, and average doesn’t move merch.

Anyways I was curious about the content of the article and the main takeaway I got, was that the article was written from a place of insecurity.

Instead the way that improving your physique improves your dating life, isn’t necessarily in the way you look (though it helps) it shows you value yourself, that you have discipline, that you are capable, that you are willing to to show up even when you don’t feel like it, that you can commit and work through hardships. Those are all things that are desirable in a partner.

Raising your level of fitness enables you do do fun and interesting things because you are capable of them.  Training represents a safe space to find out what you are capable of, which makes you feel good about yourself, the way you look and what you can do.  That confidence, is the real magnet that attracts other people that feel good about themselves and changes your out look on life in general.

It’s not about the abs, its’ about becoming the best possible version of yourself.  Who wouldn’t want to be with that?

If you need help with this, that’s what I do.  I have a free trial, just send me a text at 973 476 5328 to get started.

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Eric Moss is a personal trainer in Boonton and moonlights as a world-record-holding modern-day professional performing strongman, author, and motivational speaker. In the tradition of the strength performers more common during the turn of the century, he performs feats of strength such as bending steel and breaking chains as part of a live show and travels across the country doing presentations on goal achievement for conferences, corporations, associations, nonprofits, and government entities as well as for schools and universities. His personal training studio is located on Main Street in Boonton New Jersey and is close to Mountain Lakes, Denville, Montville, Kinnelon, Pine Brook, Butler, and Parsippany New Jersey.